Posted by: kbumgardaner | May 7, 2011

My heart

So often as a Mom of two teenagers and one tween, I find myself feeling like a failure…wondering if I can possibly ever be a good Mom to my children. I never knew it would be so hard to do this job, but I also never knew that I could feel so much love, pride, tenderness, pain, fear and unworthiness within a few hours. Kids do that to you. They bring out your vulnurabilities and show you the very best and worst of yourself. When I depend on myself to be a good Mom, I fail. It is when I find myself crying out, “Father, I don’t know what I’m doing…” that I feel like I’ve finally been the parent that God wants me to be.
I only hope and pray that even through my failures as a Mom, my kids know that I love them more than I can ever put into words.
I hope they know that I think they are each amazing, incredible, talented people with their own God-given gifts.
I hope they realize that no matter what, I will always love them, will always want to hug them, will always pray for them.
I hope they know that they are my heart.

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