Posted by: kbumgardaner | January 21, 2010

A blast from the past…or is it the present?

This is an article I recently found cut out and placed in my desk drawer at the library where I work. I’m not sure where it came from and who had the foresight to clip it, but it is an ironic picture of how crazy our world has become and what may have seemed extremely satirical in 1961, doesn’t seem so unlikely today.
Here is the article in its entirety from the Chicago Tribune, April 3, 1961


Some joker from Wisconsin sent Sen. Proxmire a proposal that, while the United States is about it on programs of uplifting the “underdeveloped,” “less developed,” and “underprivileged” sector of humanity, it should not neglect to do something for the penguins of the Antarctic, which so far have not had a single program to their name.
The matter was urgent, said the constituent, because it was axiomatic that “we New Frontier thinkers know how to run the penguins’ affairs better than they do.”
Because father penguins hatch out the eggs and can’t leave the nest to catch fish, the program calls for shifting the nation’s agricultural surplus to the South Pole and scattering it near the male nurses. This would have the added virtue of accustoming them to American handouts, like practically everybody else, and it would provide lots of new jobs in the bureaucracy for administrators.
Public housing for penguins in the form of heated coops, and aid to dependent penguin children program, loans and grants to rehabilitate the economy in depressed penguin areas, retraining programs for penguins who became the victims of technological unemployment and perhaps even a penguin peace corps would logically follow these initial steps.
The only trouble with volunteering an idea of this kind to the New Frontier and to Sen. Proxmire in particular is that there is no guarantee that they won’t take it up.

So, how are those penguins doing now anyway? How many programs now have their name on it?


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